My Love,

I hope you know how much I love you and how much I miss you! Every day feels like hell not being able to look into your brown eyes. I feel lost with out you beside me. Everyday seems to drag on and on. I wanted to spill out every last thought that is in my head and tell you how lonely I feel without you. I want you to no that everything you read is the honest truth. Imp not going to hold back these feelings any longer.

I sat down and really thought about everything we last said and I want you to know that when I told you that I was the best that you will ever have and that I was done, it was a lie I was hurt and scared and afraid that I have lost you for good. I no it was hard for you to put up with my attitude and I no it was hard when you moved in and had to deal with my family but baby YOU are the reason I want to get up in the morning, your the reason why I never want to do stupid things any more.

I had to put up with your attitude and I use to think that I was wasting my time. What I've learned in these past months is that I would give everything to be with you and be able to be in your arms again. I will even put up with your smelly feet and not complain if I can be with you.

I miss our talks and your laugh. I miss the walks in the rain and the crying. I miss your hands caressing my body and the sensation I feel. I can still fell your breath on my skin and the taste of you. When I close my eyes I still see your face. When it rains I will walk in it but it only makes me feel lonely. No matter how much I want to I cant get over the feeling that I’m losing you. I promise I will try to under stand and try to accept this set back.

Baby please, please tell me that this all will be over soon and I can be back home with you like I’m suppose to be. I don’t want to loose you I don’t want to give you up, I wont give up with out a fight. Baby Please tell me I can come back home and you will be there waiting for me! I need you and you need me. I’m scared Bobby please tell me you are still in love with me, damn it this isn’t fair.

                                                     Mit jedem Zoll meiner Seele,

                                                                                                   Your love.

P.s.

Please don’t dwell on my mistakes because I’m

 not dwelling on yours. I know she is our main

problem but I’m not willing to give up if your

not. Just tell me I still have a home.

Every day I sit and think about you and try to think of way we can be togehter but then I also remember that if it wasnt 4 you then we could have been togheter from the start. You want me to tell you that I love you and u want me to pretend like everything is ok when u no it really isnt. I wanted to marry you i wanted to have ur children. Now all i got left is a 3 little words that u keep repeating. You are laying in her bed and u tell her how much u love me that she wasnt nothin but a one night stand but then u r havin a baby with her a baby that should have been mine but u were to damn stupid to just give me time you dont even wait 5mintues after i walked out the door and now u are gonna be a daddy and when im talkin 2 our friends or just hangin out i either see u walk past or we are all at mine and urs spot. Everything around me reminds me of u i cant even walk out into the rain ne more because it reminds me of that night. The night that we were so relaxed and no worrys  and the first time u made me really see that i was truly in love with you. you called me saturday finally to tell me acting like i didnt already no. How do u tell me that ur havin a baby and the day its due 4 months after it happens and the day u found out u called me and never even brought it up. I found out from a ex boyfriend of mine. how messed up is that. When u called me saturday u told me u wanted us back how am i suppose to give u "us"? can u please tell me i want to no can u please tell me how im suppose to look u in the eye ne more how am i suppose to tell u everything is fine we can be us again. That baby will always be between us, a everyday reminder of ur betrail, he/she will be callin someone else mommy and not me. You wanted to no what u could do to make things better but it never will be better all i want is for u to take care of ur child and be a father to he/she. The one you never had and maybe just maybe i can get past the idea ur not perfect and the fact that now it will be a ready made family im gettin but all i want is to have time to think this threw because no matter wat im not ready to have u out of my life and i dont want to lose you and yeah i still LOVE YOU! even tho its killin me to do it and i always will ur my life and i guess its time to grow up and realise we all have our faults