shanni1smiles's Diary

"Hey There, Ho There, How Do Ya Do..."

Hey there lover, its been a while since i've last written (being banned for my compy kinda helped me forget to escribo) but i've been lost without you. I didn't have anyone to talk to who would really listen, like you do (i suppose thats because you are inanimate). That month was so....horrible, and its been traveling downhill from there. The first day that i was off of punishment, I got right back into trouble. It went like this: I went to stay the night at my mom's, then I decided to go over to my grandma's because I hadn't been there in forever. I was on my way over there when I ran into Icky, of all of the people in the world, it had to be him (I was thanking baby jesus I thought it was such a gift!!). So we decided to go and hang out at the park for a bit, i knew i shouldve gone to my grandmas first but i wasnt planning on staying long. I dont know what happened...i guess time got away for me, but the next thing I know, his parents are calling him up telling him that my mom went by his house asking if I was there. As soon as he got off of the phone, I left to go home, I was almost to my grandmas when they called but i figured i could stop their worrying if i just went straight home. When I got to my moms, only my step-dad was home and he told me how pissed she was (I checked the clock, it was 9:30. I had left the house at 6:15 and i never made it to my granny's....ooooppps mucho!) and how she had already called my dad. I knew i was screwed up thee anty! My mom came in from looking for me and started yelling at me about how i had planned to meet up with Icky the whole time. When I told her we just randomly ran into each other (swear its true!), she told me not to lie because she had read the email that i sent him asking if he wanted to hang out. If she and my dad would have read the entire email, they would have seen that i was asking if he wanted to hang out during finals (testing) week. In any case, they said that i was in trouble because I didn't go where i was supposed to or tell them where I was. Which i didnt think it would be a big deal because if i would have asked her, she just would have said that she didnt care and that i could go and i meant to go to my grannys but i didnt keep track of the time. So now im walking around on eggshells with everybody because nobody's said anything about me being on punishment but I know that I dont deserve to have my privileges reinstated. Oh..yeah, i got in trouble yesterday too for not telling my dad where i was again. My friends and i were supposed to go picnic by this fountain we like to play in (hopefully they wont turn the power on anythime soon! eeeekkkkk!!!), but they got caught up doing their final piece para la clase de arte. So there we were, me and my friends, waiting and waiting for some other friends to complete their project. Hours later, they finish. Then we think that we should all go and clean our lockers out. We do. Finally(!!!), we leave. But we cant go picnic just yet because one of my buddies forgot to bring food. So we had begun to walk, with at least twenty pounds in binders and notebooks, an extra half mile to White Hen. However, as we were crossing the street, this car keeps honking its horn all crazy at us. It was my step mom. My dad had sent her looking for me. Again I thought, "What a blessing!" Was i wrong, or was i wrong. I get in the car and she tells me that my dad is at home fuming. Pissed because he didnt know where I was. Here we go again, another un-intentional problem, mistake, mishAP, SLIP-UP! And at the center of it, who else but me.....

God, i feel like a failure, everything i do these days is wrong. I worked soooo hard for a B in spanish but i still got a C. I was one percent away. I dont even know what to do with myself anymore. Im completely alone now since my parents have forced a break up between Icky and I. Im just so tired all the time, i dont think i have enough energy to earn back my parents' trust....

P.S. Sorry about those of you who were looking for the script on "Come Out, Come Out..." i forgot to post it...i'll try to remember to put it on here one of these days...