shanni1smiles's Diary

The Week One

So i had a dream last night that really makes me regret my last entry. In my dream Icky and I were just friends and he had another girlfriend. As soon as I awoke I realized, just as I had before when we were seperated, that I couldnt stand the thought of him being with someone else. I know im only a teenager and my parents still tell me I dont know what I want yet, but I could really see myself being with him for the rest of my life. We just...work.

So i did something interesting today, I went and talked to my counselor. I was suprised at how easy it was and how easily I was almost driven to tears. I told her about my family and living in the city, and she said that Ive been through a lot of changes in all my short years. She also said that it might not seem like alot to me because im used to it, which is true because i didnt think much of it. It was kind of hard to talk because I was all choked up. She took me to the school social worker and now i have an appointment to talk with her on Monday at eight and she has one with my mom the same day at ten, and one with my dad on Tuesday. She said shes not going to tell my parents the personal stuff that I told her and I really hope she doesnt. My dad tried to talk to me about why she called when I came home but i didnt want to talk so he just gave up, like he always does (cant blame him though).

I tried to observe the day of silence, and i did pretty well until seventh period when Chuz started singing Old Macdonald had a Farm to the tune of Bingo and thought she was singing it correctly! I felt pretty bad about breaking silence but decided that I wouldnt be following through with the protest if i just picked up and dropped off whenever I felt like it.