redstar's Diary

100 Things I Learned From The Mist, as found on IMDB

1. In a time of disaster, you'll wish you were shopping at a Walmart Supercenter.

2. Don't live near a military base. You never know what type of experiments they are running.

3. When you see the national guard mobilized, LEAVE TOWN IMMEDIATELY.

4. When you are trapped in a supermarket with a couple of soldiers, you will ignore them as long as possible even if you are looking for help or looking for someone that knows how to shoot a pistol.

5. When you live in a small town, be sure to know that there are lots of animosity towards the city folk that went to college.

6. Art degree is suddenly a fancy degree that causes envy.

7. Don't ever listen to your car mechanic for things not car related.

8. When trapped in a supermarket with a religious nut, its best to lock her in a room all by herself.

9. All bugs are attracted to light, even the alien ones.

10. When push comes to shove, your dad will shoot you.

11. Being a lawyer from out of town automatically allows you to ignore trivial inconveniences, such as hard evidence.

12. The best way to psychologically traumatize your son is to bludgeon an otherworldly pterodactyl to death in front of him with a flaming mop.

13. Short dorky guys with half-inch thick glasses are inexplicably much better shots than military personnel who probably have better gun training.

14. You can make a neat flamethrower with bugspray and a lighter.

15. Not being bitten by an insect when you weren't making any threatening gestures toward it can be interpreted as divine intervention.

16. I'm sorry, man. Sincerely, I mean it. That car was cheery.

17. Being dragged outside by alien tentacles before turning in your uniform will probably get you written up.

18. The medicine aisle in the grocery store will have everything except what you need.

19. It's okay for the religious nut to accuse people of stealing food even though she didn't have a receipt for the bottle of milk she was drinking.

20. Being a teenager and making out in the back room will inevitably wind up getting you killed, just like in every Friday the 13th and Halloween movie featuring teenagers making out.

21. They didn't make a window...They made a door!

22. Parallel universes are foggy.

23. When the car runs out of gas, wait it out. Don't jump to conclusions.

24. All creatures from other dimension want to eat you or kill you or use your body as a cocoon. There isn't anything that is an equivalent of a fuzzy bunny.

25. There are no plants in other dimensions. Its a bunch of animals eating a bunch of insects and bunch of insects eating animals. Your atypical cycle of nature.

26. All religious folks are insane, swearing nuts who think that, under the right circumstance, child sacrifice is perfectly acceptable.

27. A lone woman with kids at home has a much better chance of surviving a hostile, alien infested mist than middle aged men will.

28. You'll still be able to keep screaming even after alien insects are bursting out of your skin.

29. Getting sprayed with acid on your upper thigh is somehow fatal and will kill you in less than a minute.

30. Giant alien monsters only prefer the TOP half of a human, the bottom they leave for ground crawlers.

31. Military men don't bother to remove the caps from the filters of their gas masks, because they're badasses that don't need to breathe like us puny normal humans do.

32. Chips exclusive to Louisiana somehow end up in a small town in Maine.

33. Big storms always conveniently (or inconveniently) wipe out cell phone service to an entire town.

34. Black guys tend to completely ignore logic and frequently refuse to listen to reason (or even go back to explore the "evidence" other people insist is there.)

35. Never piss off an old lady with canned vegetables.

36. Cover that DAMN hole!

37. Duct tape and piles of dogfood make lousy barriers, but sometimes you just have to make do.

38. when you hear a wierd noise when you know there are aliens close, you have to check it out before you start running.

39. if you win in court against your neighbour, he will never become your friend.

40. always bring extra bullets, you never know when you need one.

41. its not only gordon freeman that plays with other dimensions.

42. if you poke a chopped off tentacle, it will turn into liquid.

43. never say god is punishing us, someone might shoot you in the head.

44. seeing alien spiders will turn you into a religious freak

45. If there's an unknown menace on the other side of a cracked plate glass window, the best place to eat your weenie is directly in front of it.

46. If everyone is recoiling in horror at something above and behind you, stand still and turn around really slowly.

47. If someone hears something you didn't, and they have a college education, they're lying.

48. Getting bit in the neck by a giant, inter-dimensional locust will turn an attractive young clerk into something indistinguishable from Rosie O'Donnell.

49. People in rural areas don't use firearms.

50. If you're being attacked by a swarm of creatures attracted to light, run around yelling "turn out the lights!" while turning on lights and starting fires.

51. You shouldn't sacrifice children to monsters, you should shoot them.

52. If you think there's nothing outside that can harm you and it's all a lie or joke, the best way to prove it is to cower inside and seek to be rescued from it.

53. When you're ACTUALLY attacked by a giant tentacle monster, there's never a Japanese schoolgirl in sight.

54. Not fixing a window is cheaper than a divorce.

55. Extreme Silly String isn't as fun as it sounds.

56. Laurie Holden has worse luck with church folk than Barack Obama.

54. Short, pudgy men with thick glasses make better heroes than tall, handsome, macho leading men (this was the best news in the movie as far as I'm concerned).

55. Short, skinny, nervous young women make better heroines than tall, blonde, big-busted leading ladies.

Anyone care to finish this list? Please???

I'm feeling... amused! =D