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qtyogal's Diary

LEAVING JEMDIARY!!

Added: October 11, 2004, 6:39 pm  (107 views)
Hey jemdiary!
(My e-diary.)
I’m sorry that I have not written lately. Not much has been going on, and I feel sad to say that I am going to move-on to a different diary. Or maybe I should just keep two diaries…?

I am a person who doesn’t like change. And, I know it is one of my fears and whenever I loose a friend or something is just different than what it is usually is… I freak out. Or I start missing people and things, and I can surprisingly get very depressed or confused or just where I feel, “AHH!”
I hate change. But, I am going through a lot of changes right now (more emotional than physical), and I’ve decided I need to get over my fear of change and that I need to just MOVE ON! (The words, right there, freak me out.) And, I’ve decided that it would be good for me to “practice changes.” Where I move on from something precious of mine. But, it won’t be totally serious… for I’ll still have the chance to go back if I want. (But, you see, this isn’t the case in many real life situations. You can’t always go back to how things used to be… although, I’m sure we all have wished we could at some point in time.)

So, I thought of something that is precious to me: my thoughts/my words/my DIARY (aka jemdiary.)
I cannot live without writing down my thoughts!! I literally go insane if I don’t write!! (Trust me… my family knows this.) So, of coarse I am not going to give-up writing. That would be dense. This is me and this is my life and I always thought that it wouldn’t be worth having if I didn’t record it down. Then… what if you forget? Well, yeah… the important stuff, you won’t forget. But, the little details in your life… they matter. They really do! ‘Cuz when you’re older, you may look back on your life and realize that something you thought wasn’t that big of a deal, turned out to be a huge deal! And I could go on and on with reasons on why you should keep a diary. But, I’m assuming all the people (if any) who read this, keep a diary as well. So, they should know how important it is. (Well, at least it’s important to me.)

So, yeah… I’m not giving up writing. That is like the farthest of farthest of things on my list to do. And, I don’t think I would ever find a reason in my life to give-up writing. Except that if I lost my arms. Then, I would just get someone to write for me. :)
Well, anyway for my “practice change” I am changing diaries. And, I love jemdiary…so much!! Since, I have been here since December of last year, and this is what got me through home schooling, and has been with me through lots of happy and sad times.
Okay, so it may sound stupid of why I’m giving up something, I can keep.
It’s so I can help myself learn that changes happen and that I just need to “move on” sometimes… even if the words do freak me out. I need to get over that fear.

So, bye-bye jemdiary. :(
I will miss you! (And if you see me back on here… that’ll show I did not pass my “changes test.”)
If any of you would like to keep up with me and what’s happening in my 8th grade year, you can check outhttp://maimes.blogspot.com !!

Thanks, jemdiary, for getting me through my lonely home schooling experience.
Thanks, jemdiary, for being with me when I was lonely.
Thanks, jemdiary, for letting me pour out my confused/depressed/sad or just HAPPY feelings, even on those days when I sounded incredibly stupid.
Thanks, jemdiary, for letting me feel that I belonged somewhere. (Wow, how lame am I?)
Thanks, jemdiary, for helping me find out a little bit more about myself. (If you read my first entry and then read some of my later entries. You might have noticed how much I have grown in about the last ten months. Or maybe you can’t… but I sure can!)
Thanks, jemdiary, for everything! I could go on and on! But, it’s time for a change. (And, if it’s not… well, you’ll see me crawling back. That’s if I can’t take it.)

Well, for everyone out there, on jemdiary—
I LOVED READING SOME OF YOUR ENTRIES! (They’re almost all more interesting than mine. LOL.)
LOVE YA!
MISS YA!
Write me sometime: egamy5@myway.com
Check outhttp://www.amyssites.com for updates on my web life.
Check outhttp://amys.photosite.com for updates on pictures. (Btw, I should update soon on there… but I don’t know how soon.)
Check outhttp://maimes.blogspot.com for my new diary. :(

Okay, maybe I’m over exaggerating about this whole switch-a-diary thing. But, this really meant a lot to me. You have no idea.

Oh, I was looking back on some of my old entries. And, my very first entry on here was on December 19th, 2003 (when I was 12) and titled, “What’s New.” (So ordinary.) And, I don’t know (I can’t remember) if I mentioned his name or not, but I know I brought-up Erik in my very first entry! I don’t think I said his name… but I had mentioned him, about wanting to kiss my sis. And, at the time I had no intentions about going out with him, about nine months later!

Wow… it’s funny how things change.
Especially over time.
And, leaving jemdiary… was just sort of sudden.
But, sudden or not… things change. Whether I like them to or not. And, I need to know how to accept these changes. Because they’re all around me… especially at this age.

And, I need to know how to clean these bites that are biting me everywhere I go!
(Whether you do or don’t—I get what I’m saying.)

Well, I’d just like to end my last entry with these last words, as simple as they might be. Because they are the most beautiful words I could think of, right now, and ever imagine anyone putting at the end of one’s diary. And as sappy as they may sound to a person, they are:


“I love you, Erik.”

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