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qtyogal's Diary

guys over girls

Added: October 7, 2004, 6:30 pm  (95 views)
I don't know what i think about Erik... about his looks. Looks don't really matter to me, so I shouldn't be talking about this... but I think I need to mention it sometime, somewhere. Just because. I don't think he's really "hot." A hot guy (to me) is to see someone you don't know and say/think, "Oh... they're hot." So, since you don't know them, you can say that. But, when you get to know someone, who you never said/thought was hot, before you knew them--then they can't really be "hot" once you start liking them. So, no... to me, he's not hot. But, he's cute--to me. And I hate using the word "cute" in any situation, just 'cuz that word annoys me, unless you're talking about a baby or "cute" animal. But, to say, "I think so and so is cute," then it just sounds weird, at this age. Well, at least to me. So, it kinda feels weird to me, to call him cute... but, so what? He's cute. He's adorable. And I don't mean, like a baby-cute. :) So, when i ever stand to him face to face and close or semi-close like that I sometimes I just want to melt into the floor. Even more so, I want to plant a good kiss on him... but, when will I ever find the right moment? Probably never. We're not even going out, so I think we'd both find it super uncomfortable. Since we're supposedly trying to stay, "just friends." And I have to admit: sometimes its really hard to be "just friends." Maybe, not to him. But, sometimes I struggle with that. But, so far so good... 'cuz I don't think I have ever been that flirty with him, since we broke-up about 2 weeks ago. Wow! Has it already been two weeks? Well, about four more days and it'll be two weeks. So, I guess it's not two weeks, yet. But, whatever.
Well, I went to class and la, la, la... school is boring. Although, in Reading I got assigned a "job" that I don't have to act out or anything. Just write a paper about it. I got assigned to be a person who gives you you're tickets at the movie theater. (Wow... I'm definitly gonna be a filthy rich million air, off of that. LOL. Jk.) So, that was probably the most interesting thing...during school. *Yawns.* After school, I went to go hang with the sevies (including Erik) as usual. And even though today was Thursday and yearbook day, I didn't feel like doing yearbook. I hardly ever feel like doing yearbook now, although I still want to be on the staff. I just wish it wasn't after school... waisting my precious after school time, to hang-out. But, I found out that we weren't really doing anything for yearbook today (odd) and the staff was just hanging out in the computer lab, checking their email and whatever else, in there. So, hardly nothing to do with yearbook. So, I stayed there for a little bit, and found out that we weren't really having a yearbook meeting or anything, so I just left. Erik was outside in the front for only a little more than 5 min, until he had to leave. (The day I'm in daycare... he had to leave early. Darnet.) Well, it was still fun. Well, not really "fun" but okay... just like any ordinary daycare day. Although, I was hardly in day care at all in 6th and 7th grade, since I lived close to the school, so I always used to walk home after school, and never went to daycare. But, I guess on my dad's days, I'll be back in daycare now... like the good old days. I remember... in mainly 5th grade, it was mainly Ben Edwards (remember him--my ex-obsession?) Janelle, Nick, Daniel, Joel, Rebecca and me and we would all go out in the daycare field area. And we would all start out sitting in a circle (with Ben on one side of me... sometimes holding my hand) and we would play truth or dare. Then, sooner or later we wouldn't be sitting in a well-orgainzed circle anymore. They would all be running around and the guys would be telling preverted jokes and laughing their heads off and doing stuff to trees (as i'll leave you to imagine.) and Rebecca would just follow the guys around and laugh or whatever. and I would just lay down in the grass, looking up at the sky, and thinking, "Ooooh Myyy Gooodneesss." It was so stupid... but the truth or dare part was always fun. And I remember, sometimes the grass was really cold and wet, and I'd sit there with my knees under my jacket and shivering from the cold as well from the thought of what the next question or dare might be. Okay, well those were the 5th grade days... good old 5th grade days, in daycare. Well, back to the present. The only thing that Erik did to me after school was slap me on the arm a bunch of times, and I slapped him super hard on the side and he was holding it and saying, "ooohh..." like it hurt. and i bet it did. :) So, we were continuing our slapping wars. and nik just stood their laughing, and so i told him he was next. (although, i really didn't want to go around trying to hit nik. since it probably would be considered, "flirting" to him. and flirting with nik, would just feel really weird to me.) But, I wasn't trying to flirt with Erik, it just sorta came naturally. and hitting wasn't exactly flirting... at least i didn't think so. erik dosn't really hit... he does this wip-lash thing really fast with his fingers, that stings. and i just slap him back. Well, unfortunatly erik had to leave. :( But, whatever. i didn't want him to think i was trying to be flirty, anyway. and if he stayed any longer i might've gotten a little more flirt-a-geous with him. which happens sometimes. although, erik did get out of his car to come back and get something, he forgot, and then he came up to me to give me a wip-lash again but then he said, "Oh, i'll just do it later." so whatever. then, i went to daycare with nik. and most of the time i just hung out with nik. and we talked for a while, on the swings. and i learned that he dosn't really like sports, but he's more of a biker/hiker/paintballer person. which, i thought was pretty cool, since his best friend (aka erik) is so much into sports. (mainly football and basketball.) and nik would seriously not shut up about his paintballing experiences. well, at least he can think of stuff to say, more than erik can, who usually can't think of anything to say. and that was good for me--'cuz it didn't put me in any uncomfortable situations, where i had to think of something to say or ask. then, nik and i just threw around a football and forest came to join us. so, for most of the daycare time i was hanging out with forest and nik and we would just talk and throw a football around, at the same time. and ben, nick, and daniel came to join us with throwing the football but then ben, nick, and daniel started a game of basketball with some guys from 5th/6th grade. so, that didn't last long. then, the three of us (forest, nik, & I) were swinging, and nik had to leave so then he just left me with forest and i said, "oh crap. now, its just u and me." but, i guess that was okay. we just swung for awhile and forest just told me a bunch of stuff from his favorite show... which i can't even remember what it was... and i wasn't really paying that much attention and I was just saying stuff like, "oh" and "uh-huh," ect. lol. then, julia, him, and i went to go get sodas since mrs. rupnow was on duty and she told us we could. so, i bought them a soda. (arn't i nice? lol.) and jantee came with us. I was surprised she did--'cuz she seemes to be really shy. i hardly ever heard her say anything. but, i was glad she did... 'cuz i don't like to have people feeling left out. i asked her if she wanted me to buy her a soda, but she just held up her soda meaning, "i already have one." I was thinking she wouldn't want one... since she did already have one, but she also did follow us to the academy soda machine... so, i didn't know. and when she left, I said bye to her, so I felt good that i at least included her a little bit, and was nice to say goodbye. Well, then i was just sitting around, where anne and mrs. rupnow were. and forest was there and we just all hung out and talked. its boring when guys arn't around. maybe, thats one reason why i didn't want to hang out in the computer lab with all the girls. ('cuz there were no guys to talk to.) it's weird... now, a lot of the time it seems that the girls in my class are starting to annoy me... a lot. but, the girls in 7th grade are cool (ex-cluding my sister. lol. jk.) and the guys in 7th grade and in my class are all cool. (well, ALMOST all cool. Mark is freaking me out and christian's annoying.) i like hanging out with the guys... they're cool. i would rather hang out with guys than girls. that's the whole point of my title being, "guys over girls." in daycare, there were plenty of girls i could've hung-out with from both grades in jr. high. just... i prefer to hang out with guys. things are definitly different with me (i can tell) from just 6th grade (and even last year.) well, i am at home now. and hanging with just nik... then nik & forest... then just forest... was kinda fun for a change. but, erik would've been more fun. hehehehe. lol. i love it how i can be myself around guys, now. (unlike when ben edwards was here... thinking back to 7th grade, 6th grade, 5th grade... and so on.)
well, i am at home now... as you might've guessed. my computer at my dad's house is working, now. so later tonight, i'll TRY to add my other 2 entries from yesterday and Tues.
Well, Monterey is over and Julia and her are watching something... that i think i might want to see what it is. and, they're gonna play truth or dare (so thinking back to the old days... why not?) although, i don't see how it could be any fun with just girls. whatever... we'll see... bye.

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