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qtyogal's Diary

Friday Phone Calls 3

Added: October 4, 2004, 2:07 pm  (84 views)
Erik: Hello?
Me: Hey, sorry to bother you again. But, I remembered one thing I wanted to ask.
Him: That's okay. I don't care.
Me: Okay. Why did you tell me you weren't ready for a relationship and then go out with Alisha?
Him: Huh…why'd you have to bring that up?
Me: Well, you lied to me. I wanted to know why.
Him: Uh… (pause, pause, pause) I don't know.
Me: Okay… (Julia is next to me and asks, "Did he say 'I don’t know?'")
Me: Hold on one second. (I say to Julia, "ya," and she sits there, shaking her head about how stupid he can be, sometimes.)
Me: Okay… Julia just asked me if you said, "I don't know" and I said, "ya."
Him: Oh.
Me: Yeah. The whole predictable thing with you, used to be funny. And it still is. But, then when it came to being predictable about breaking-up it wasn't that funny.
Him: (no answer.)
Me: Hello?
Him: Ya?
Me: Okay, so why'd you write that?
Him: I don't know.
Me: Tell me. I can handle it.
Him: Uh…
Me: Did you just write it as an excuse to break-up with me?
Him: I guess you could put it like that.
Me: Oh.
Him: 'Cuz I couldn't really say I was breaking-up with you for no reason.
Me: Well, there has to be a reason.
Him: We weren't talk enough.
Me: Weren't talking enough? I would talk to you a lot. Just sometimes you'd say you had to go to daycare or go somewhere or you had to go talk to someone.
Him: Aw.
Me: So, it was mainly you that didn't talk to me.
Him: Aw.
Me: Okay, you still haven't really given me an answer to why you said you weren't ready for a relationship.
Him: Uh… (long pause, long pause… in the background I can hear his baby sister saying, "Erik" and his mom says, "Erik! She just said Erik!")
Him: (talking to his mom) Ya, she always says my name.
Me: I heard that.
Him: (nothing.)
Me: Okay, so why'd you write that and lie to me?
Him: Well, if you give the note back to me I can erase it. (As if that'll take it back.)
Me: Well, I think my friend threw it away, since she was cleaning out my locker. (Which sounds like a lame excuse, but its true.)
Him: Oh. (In the background I hear his mom say, "Erik get off the phone and come pick up…" and something I didn't hear.)
Me: Okay, well it sounds like you have to go.
Him: (laugh) ya.
Me: Okay, see ya at church tomorrow. Bye. (Hung up.)

Okay, so then after that—Julia and I just hung out in the attic and snacked on sweet stuff and laughed about a lot of stupid but funny stuff Erik has said and done. Then, we just played games on our phones and Julia was saying, "He'll like you again… I can tell. Hopefully." Then we got into this thing where we would say a sentence and then say, "hopefully" at the end. Example A: "I'm going to go eat dinner. Hopefully." Then, once we were done with that we talked about all the cute stuff Quinten does. And, that got me feeling good, right before Dad came up and told us we had to go to bed, now.
After being on the phone with Erik and just hanging-out and laughing with my sister in the attic, made me feel good and some how closer to God. I don’t know why I felt that way, but I just did. I just felt God's presence. He was there and he was my friend. As I climbed down the latter from the attic, I prayed something like this:
"God, okay, so maybe Erik doesn’t like me. But, that's okay. That's life and I'll get by. But, please be with Erik. Instead of asking for something great to happen between Erik and I, I want to ask for a nice friendship—instead of the relationship. He has a girlfriend, and who knows—maybe they're perfect for each other. I want to ask for wisdom, right now, like Solomon had. Please be with me. Keep me safe. Please give me wisdom, and a friendship with Erik, where I could give him advice and maybe we could become really true friends. Amen."
Then, I headed for bed. My dad smelt cat pee on his bed, so I offered him my bed. I don’t know why I was feeling so generous right then—but I was. I'm telling you—that's from God. So, I got a sleeping bag and my pillow and decided to sleep on the couch in the family room. So, that's where I am now. It's late and I have written a whole lot!! I am probably going to be tired and grumpy tomorrow morning, so I need to get as much sleep as I can. Talk l8ter. Bye.

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