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qtyogal's Diary

Friday Phone Calls 2

Added: October 4, 2004, 2:06 pm  (63 views)
Then I went on the trampoline with Julia and we talked. I was confused a 'lil about what he meant, "…unless you like me more than a friend." Did he mean, "we're friends but unless you like me more than a friend, than we're not friends." Or did he mean, "Ya, we're friends but unless you like me more than a friend than we can be more than friends?" See, this is what I mean when I say he's playing around with my emotions. Sometimes it seems as if he's still into me. Other times it seems as if he truly just wants to be friends. (Which I never knew could be possible with ex's—easily.) And other times it seems he tries to avoid me as much as possible.
So, about an hour later I had to call him back. Not to ask him about that, but to find out other stuff just to get a hint of what he meant. I did like him more than a friend. At first, after we broke-up, I would play the role of quizzing him down. As in asking him, "How come?" questions that would put him in an uncomfortable situation. Just to show him I was upset and hurt. Now, even if that side of me still exists, I'm trying to put it aside. And try to play it cool and friendly. (But, not too friendly—when it starts to become flirty.) I want to act like the break-up was nothing to me and that we can TRULY just be friends. This has been the weirdest break-up experience. This is the first time it actually seems he's trying to be friends other than saying, "let's just be friends" and then never speak to me again. So, I called him back.

Erik: Hello?
Me: Hey, Erik. I'm bored so I just decided to call.
Erik: Hey! WAZZUP?
Me: Umm, right now I'm sitting in my attic. We have carpet and tile and everything. It's so cool.
Erik: Oh, cool.
Me: So, whatcha call Derek for?
Him: Oh, just to say whats up.
Me: Oh. So what did you do besides watch your sister? She's so cute.
Him: Ya, I know. She takes after me.
Me: (Laugh.)
Him: Uh, I just hung-out with my brother.
Me: Oh… did you hang out with Alisha?
Him: Ya, her too, with my brother.
Me: Ohh… so what do you and Alisha do together?
Him: Why do you always ask about her?
Me: Just curious, I guess.
Him: Oh… well, I usually don't like talking about my girlfriend to my ex's.
Me: Oh. (Pause.) So, whatcha do with your sister?
Him: Just walked her around on the grass.
Me: Oh. (A moment of mind block!)
Me: So, what are you doing?
Him: Just sitting here.
Me: Oh. (A moment of silence!)
Me: Okay, you say something.
Him: I can't think of anything. As usual.
Me: Ya. (A 'lil nervous laugh.) So…so, so, so.
Him: (nothing.)
Me: Well, I guess that’s all I had to ask. Well, I really didn't have to ask you anything. I'll see ya tomorrow at church.
Him: Ya.
Me: Okay, cya.
Him: See ya.
Me: Bye. (Hang up.)

Then, I sit there against the attic wall and my sister asks about what he said. I tell her then say out loud, "Oh no!" "What?" "I forgot to ask him something," I said. "What?" "I forgot to ask him why he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and then goes out with his neighbor the next day." "Oh!" my sister yells, "You should! Call him back!" "I can't call him. I just did. You call him." "Okay," she says and dials a number and then throws the phone to me. "Call him," she said. So, just a couple minuets after getting off the phone with him, I call him back. AGAIN.

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