qtyogal's Diary
Humdrum
Added: September 26, 2004, 9:12 pm (
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I really need to get to bed, but I think I need to write first. And, I need to hurry but that won’t be a problem because I don’t have that much to say anyways. Umm, well first of all my title: “Humdrum” could mean another word for, “Boring.” So… ya today was basically BLA and so was yesterday: just boring. I just sat around and ate and watched TV and did a few ‘lil chores here and there and babysat my baby brother. But, luckily he wasn’t being a butt today and he was happy doing some things on his own. But, most of the time I was just bored and trying to find something to do. I didn’t feel like doing anything. I even tried to work on Alex’s website a little bit… but I was even getting bored of that. So… yeah. I don’t have anything interesting to say. What am I doing now? Umm, my mom’s at work and I have to watch my brother during the night. Some people my age would be freaked out about it—or mainly the parents of people my age. But, I think it’s fine because our neighborhood is great and no one knows so… whatever. I shouldn’t be talking about this anyway. Right now, Julia is sleeping with Quinten and I have nothing to wear for tomorrow. And, tonight I have been going through some girley fazes or something. ‘Cuz I’m freakin out about everything on my body or how I look. I was walking around half-naked, just looking at my fat a** and stomach in the mirror. I hate my body right now!!! I want to loose weight so bad. People say I’m not fat, but I really, really am gaining some extra pounds, and every time I look at my body in the mirror I feel like screaming and taking something and throwing it on the ground and breaking it. And, then I am getting so many white heads—black heads—pimples—zits—and whatever bad pimple-related-thing you can name: I’ve got it on my nose and between my eyes. Cover up is not working well for me and I feel really, really ugly. My eyebrows… ugh! They are annoying me to death. Sometimes I just want to shave ‘em off and pencil ‘em. But, then I’d probably look even more ridiculous. I cannot find a lipstick or lip-gloss that makes me look really good. Just everything about me, right now—is making me feel ugly. (1) The extra weight that I want to loose so bad. (2) The don’t-know-what-to-do-about-make-up-issue. (That goes along with my blemishes drama.) (3) The annoyance of my eyebrows. (4) My hair—I don’t know, but it’s just annoying me lately. It’s just so plain. I need to change something about it. And… (5) I have nothing to wear for tomorrow! So, that doesn’t make me feel any better.
Okay, I am probably making ppl sick with all my too-much-girl-stuff-talk. I am tired and I feel ugly and I am thirsty… so I’m gonna add this to my diary, go get a drink, then go to bed. And just pray that I feel beautiful by tomorrow morning.
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