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qtyogal's Diary

Wishes

Added: September 22, 2004, 5:58 am  (63 views)
(Okay, it is early Wednesday morning, and last night I typed out something I wrote the night before. So you'll be reading something, I wrote on Monday night.)

I wish…

* I would be more responsible towards my schoolwork.
* I wish Erik and I would do more than just flirt. I mean c’mon we have liked eachother for over three weeks (going on four) and gone out for… going on two weeks. All we do is laugh and tease one another. And, of coarse it’s a lot of fun. It never gets old. But, the kind of flirting we do is the stuff people do when they just start to notice that they like each other. And, that’s just not the case, here. I think he might be kind of slow at these sorts of things. Actually—I had to rethink that. I don’t think that. I really think he’s a little nervous about doing anything else. And the flirting/teasing is just where he’s comfortable. I can sort of tell that he wants to do something together—just more boyfriend/girlfriend like. He’s always bringing up “dates.” Always talking about the next gym night or whatever. And, I’m thinking about the same. I want to spend time with him—I want to have fun with him! Like, we had at Back to School Night. I want to do some more stuff like THAT! And, I know… I just KNOW that things will ooze into place, if we just spent more time together. And, I know he wants more time too. He says he likes me a whole lot. But, it’s like he can only be more “lovey” when we’re online together. Well, yeah, sometimes he’s nice to me and says sweet things when we’re just talking—but the big difference is when we get online. So, obviously it really makes me think that he is just used to the playing and teasing—and it would just be different if we started being—you know—NICER to each other. Well, of coarse, it would be different! But, sometimes difference is good. It just makes me feel awkward, sometimes, when all we do is tease each other and TALK. I LOVE to hang out with him and all, but I just wish we would do MORE. Hold hands once in a while and MAYBE kiss. YOU KNOW! Is that too much to ask for? People say that he wants to kiss me, and I THINK he would like it if we were more “lovey.” But, the flirting is just what he’s used to. And I know he knows that, that’s what makes me happy. And I don’t think he wants to try anything that he doesn’t know what I’ll react too, or where he’ll feel a little uncomfortable. We’re just playing it safe and flirty—that’s all. I just like him a lot and I wish I could just show more “love” to him. I hope you’re getting what I’m saying. And, I don’t really wanna talk to him about it—I just don’t know what to do. But hope and wait. I guess. Just wait.
Wednesday
* I wish that something great would happen tomorrow! *

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