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i_found_nemo's Diary

EVERY DAY OFF

Added: March 27, 2004, 12:26 am  (81 views)
I found the reason why I hate my days off of work- I am at home. I am with my family. And as much as I love them and they mean the world to me, I find myself getting extremely aggravated with them, all of them. Each one has their own little things that piss me off. I'm being selfish in saying that they annoying me... but I can. I have a huge problem with each and every one of them. Today, I felt lazy. REALLY lazy. I didn't feel like going out any where, or doing anything. I made this well known to my father. But he was in one of his moods, insisting on getting something done or going out with his family. He needs to be around me! Why? I'm not anything special. I'm sick of it. Really. I'm a pathetic existence. I get up, go to work, go to bed. That's about it. And my life is that. I blame everything on my family. I feel like biting off the friggin arm that feeds me and dismembering the rest of the body. I feel this piercing jealousy of all the people I know.
My dad hates that I work. He wants me home, he's done everything in his power to get me fired, make me quit, even threaten to leave the family if I stay. Just for working a job. Most parents would be happy their kids working. He's told me on several occasions that I'm a failure, but then the next minute he says he loves me so much, he just wants me home and that I'm smart and we can start a business together. This is what I go through every time I walk in the front door. He starts on me right away. My mom takes all my money. My sister is a compulsive liar and denies everything, my older brother can be so negetive you want to slit your wrists after talking to him and my younger brother has the mind of a 3 year old. He sits all day and plays XBOX or watches TV. He is the laziest person I know. I am ashamed to invite my friends over, I can't go out with them and I feel like I am suffocating. None of my friends know any of this, except for, now Amanda because I know she reads this (I love you too, Miss Amanda, thank you for the message). And I feel so... depressed. I am truly unhappy. With everything. I want to leave everything behind.

*Tell everybody I'm on my way*

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