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fadedmemoriezs's Diary

Socials Class

Added: January 15, 2007, 4:26 pm  (66 views)
You know what I hate? I hate being unprepared. Yet, im such a procrastinator. I had like what? 3-4 days to finish my homework but I still didn't get it done before class. I hate how I'm such a slacker, even though I know that it's going to hurt me in the long run I just keep doing it. It's so embarrassing how Ms. Chin called on me and I just totally blanked. I don't even know what I said but then I guess its alright cause Ms. Chin said that it was right. But the thing is when she called on me Andrew this guy in my class turned to look at me and everyone in class started looking at me. I got so nervous that I told him to stop looking at me. Now, that I think about it I don't think that that was a very nice thing to do considering the fact that there's nothing wrong with looking at someone. But it just kind of went out. I don't know why but for some reason I'm so mean to him, its like something that comes naturally to me when it comes to him, but his so nice to me. I feel like garbage, I shouldn't have told him to stop looking at me. Well, I guess I deserve to feel bad I'm such a bad person. I can't blame him if he never talks to me ever again. I keep telling myself that I'm going to be nice to him but I just end up saying something bad or mean to him and he doesn't deserve it. I want to apologize to him, but I'm afraid he'll think I'm stupid. Okay you know what? whatever I don't even know why I care so much what he thinks about me. Why should I care if he never talks to me again. I'll get by just fine. But as much as I say that to myself it doesn't make me feel any better. I just hope that he doesn't take it personally, and I hope that he knows that I'm sorry.

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