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Sami's Diary

Just an Update

Added: December 12, 2003, 1:42 am  (118 views)
Wow, hey everyone who reads this thing. :) What's up? I am actually just sitting in my room with a few candles lit...strumming on my guitar. I've been thinking a lot lately about family, friends, and the real meaning of the holidays. My mom started yelling at me because I wanted to please my friends with every object I saw. If I saw frogs I wanted to get them for Chrissy, if I saw musical stuff I wanted to get it for Chase/Stephen/JonJon/Dustin. Is it wrong to want to do that? I mean...I don't expect anything back from any of them. They should only do it if it feels right too. I don't ask for too much...I don't think. I mean yeah I have the "I Want" symndrome. Every time I see something, I always think its cute and want it, but I don't get it. Hmm...I still have a lot of Christmas shopping for my mom left. Man, I feel so bad cause we both have been getting for everyone else...and I have only gotten her a few things. I REALLY feel bad for it. She wants houseshoes with soles on the bottom of them, some A&F perfume, and little surprises. I can handle it, but I need money first. I applied for the Petco store today. I am seriously hoping to get on there....that would be so much more of a help to me. I get bored sitting around all day long. Hmmm....yeah.

I just got over the worst sinus/flu mixed crap I have ever had. Oh gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood god!! I was so stuffy and achey. I hurt like someone had slapped the piss out of me. I still have a stuffy nose and coughing a little, but I am sooooo much better this week. I was able to finish my final exam today for the last class I needed to take it for. WOO HOO!!! I get to staty outta school for almost a month or more. :-D I love college. I just found out today that my guitar class for next semester will be done in Jackson. That is too awesome because if I get the job I applied for, then I will be able to kill two birds with one stone. :-D Life works out sometimes!! Anyway on with other news....

I've also been thinking a lot about Stephen. Is that a surprise to any of the people who have been keeping up with my diary? LOL Didn't think so. I dunno....I am so stumped on what else to get him. I have him a few little things that he can use, but I want something else. Maybe a DVD or a CD will do, the problem is I dunno which one or what CD/DVD he wants?!?!?! I asked JonJon today and he helped a little. I want going to get him LOTR, but I dunno if he liked it, so I guess I will ask him tomorrow. *shrugs* He really means a lot to me. I've never felt like this before because everytime he is around me, I automatically feel happy and giddy at the same time. My heart starts to skip beats and race...I bet my eyes are huge when they look at him. Man....I dunno if I am in love with Stephen or not...I honestly don't know. I don't wanna be, but something grabs me and pulls me in when it comes to him. I love his sweet smile and innocent eyes....most of all I love his personality. His personality makes him so...awesome. He can be so stupid (playfully) but I find it so attractive. I guess I am strange. There is a saying that goes: "No one is perfect until you take them in and make every imperfection the most perfect anyone could ever know." I guess that's what I do? I mean Stephen is by far the most imperfect person I know (okay maybe not, but you know what I am saying), yet I find every single flaw absolutely amazing or sweet or unique. I know just a few weeks I was bitching about him not talking to me...but even then, I saw him as an Angel. Maybe I am in way over my head? I mean...is it normal to feel like this? *shrugs* My friend Amanda told me that I was head over heels in love with him....but I dunno. Man, this is tough to figure out. I guess I won't even try....and see where I end up? *sighs* I'll wait and see what happens. :)

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