Sami's Diary

weird mouthThe Email

Added: November 26, 2003, 11:34 pm  (81 views)
Song: My Immortal - evanescence
Mood: Stressed

Hmmm I don't think I have ever felt so relieved and scared at the same time. I wrote Stephen an email explaining how I felt and all the other crap that goes along with it. I dunno exactly how he is going to react to it, but I am guessing not good? It wasn't the nicest letter I have written to someone. I was just so pissed off at the fact that a few nights ago I tried to call him and he gave me the fuck you button (you know where you call someone's cell and they push silent really quick and it goes to their voice mail) on his phone and then come to find out he fucking blocked my MSN sn last night. Honestly, would anyone let another person treat them like that? *shrugs* Maybe I am a retard for doing it and screwing up something that wasn't bad in the first place, but I am sick and fucking tired of him ignoring me. I will not be quiet about it and I will not be overlooked. I knew something bad was going to happen soon between him and myself. I just knew it. Because usually when things are going really great, SOME UNSEEN FORCE screws around with it and I am back to hating myself for doing something wrong to him. Nope, I'm not doing it any longer. I don't think so. I think in a way he sees that he can walk all over me because I am too nice to him. I've never been a bitch to him (I don't think) until now. See, he won't communicate with me, so how am I supposed to know if everything is cool or something is wrong?? Its just stupid. I know Chrissy is probably ready to pull her hair out beause I complain about it so much. So, I finally realized I needed to bring it to his attention instead of telling everyone else besides him. I honestly think I am scared to lose him....but I dunno. I am really confused about everything. Chrissy has been such a sweetheart about everything....and she helped me get the nerve to actually do it. Anyway....I am doing okay at the moment...so no one worry...yet.

In other news, my family had Thanksgiving dinner tonight. It was good....and I still feel like I over ate lol. What is so shocking about it, I managed to cook it by myself. Pretty amazing eh? lol Well, I think I am going to take a shower and get ready to babysit allllllll day tomorrow. haha!! Anyway....goodnight guys.

-Love-
Sami

PS: Happy Turkey Day and be thankful for one thing at least!
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