Prosper's Diary

I'm still an unpredictable fireball...

What are friend's for? A question that everyone has pondered a time or two in their lives. If you have friends then you know that true friends are there through the thick and thin, good and bad. But that doesn't seem to be the case with Charlie whom I have given chance after chance to prove his friendship to me. He told me he loves me which is new for him, considering that it is difficult for him to express his emotions toward anything. His attitude has costed him a lot of friends and more importantly his job. I have stuck out this rocky friendship based on my understanding that he NEEDS a friend. A good friend, a true friend--and that was I.

I paid his way into the clubs, I paid so that he'd have a way to get back and forth during his job search, I let him use my number as a contact for any potential employers. I've taken him to get something to eat when he was hungry, I've done all that I could to make him feel loved during his time of despair and what do I get in return? Left at the club, drunk, left at the train station, drunk. Last nite was the last straw and Charlie caught of piece of me that threw him completely off guard.

We were getting ready to hit up club Djangos. It was going to be free for ME because I know the guy that works there. He was going to get me and my boys in for free. So I invited Charlie to come with. So halfway there he decides he doesn't want to go. I get on the train he doesn't he sends me text telling me he's going home "Have fun!" That pissed me off because I was already pissy drunk and he knows how people are on the public transportation system. Anyone could have robbed me or just beat the shit of me, seeing that I was vulnerable to attack when alone. I WAS FURIOUS THAT HE WOULD LEAVE ME.

So I called Charlie and told him I was coming to get my shit. I ended up catching the train back to Kensington which is where he lives. And I marched drunkenly and outraged back to his apartment. And when I got there--this bastard had all of my shit at the door!!! He sent me a text saying don't come into my room. I kick that door open---he had this blank look on his face as if he thought that I would obey his command when he told me not to come in. His roomates were there, they saw my rage and retreated to their rooms--SMART.

Initially I had ignored Charlie when I entered I was just looking for any other items that may have belonged to me. But he opened his mouth. That was all it took. I don't even remember what he said but I EXPLODED!!!!! KABOOOOOOM!!!! He was quiet as a mouse, talking softly. Funny part about it is that he has a larger body mass than I have and he could have easily kicked my ass. But my attitude is so fierce when I'm angry I actually sound like I will do some damage. He threatened to call the police which let me know that he was terrofied of me. He has taken my friendship for granted and has left me too many times. Even Carlos, another friend of mine, asked me why I keep associating with Charlie. Carlos was the one who took me home the night Charlie left me at the club with no way home. NO REAL FREIND WOULD DO THAT!!! But over and over again--I went back to being the best friend that Charlie could ever have. Even when he made that upsetting comment about my mother. "I hope your dead mother is proud of you." That outraged me cause she is not dead...she is sick with HIV. I still labeled him a "friend" and would introduce him to people as my "play cousin." But I think I have to draw the line this time...even as I write this I want to get him back as my friend. But it has been so long that someone has pissed off the way I had been last night and if anyone gets me to that point they most certainly are not my friend. THEY ARE MY ENEMY!