Prosper's Diary

The Days of Gone

I've changed my name this time around there are a couple of sites that know me as Hotboi23--he's gone. I decided not to keep looking back on what I really can not change. The days of gone have left some scars and it's difficult to move forward. I just removed myself from a stage production that had been in rehearsal for 3mos only to have it cancelled one day before opening night. It was a major blow of the hammer and at first I thought that I was the only one who was upset by this unexpected colllapse. But it had become clear at the last "meeting" that it took a toll on damn near everybody as most of the cast QUIT...

Way too much work, emotion, and hope was put into the opening night and its cancellation was left completely unclear to those involved. I opted to stay but with half a cast missing it would be another grueling 3mos rehearsal process that I am not willing to commit to. So I sent the email that would let them know that I am leaving...

My sad goodbye read:

Greetings,

After last night's rehearsal at AIU where everyone was updated on the drastic changes that have been made to the prdouction I have come to the conclusion that it is going to be almost another 3mos before we ever get to do a sinlge production. And even still there is no set date that would provide further hope.

I decided that at this time I am not going to be able to commit to another grueling 3mo. rehearsal schedule and after all things have been considered my lack of faith in this production has grown. It seems as if we are LITERALLY starting all over again. While I do understand the "business" aspect of what happened that there is no show, I don't understand the complete loss of cast behind it and it also hurts to see the faces of people whom supported me, confused--just as I am. 

I thank you all for casting me as one of the two lead males and it has been an honor to rehearse as such but I leave you on the terms that we will all be able to "meet" again after our lessons have been learned behind what has happened yesterday.  I hope we can maintain a professional relationship and I would love to stay updated with any events connected to this stage production.

Thank you,

"Prosper"

They never responded and that was sent two days ago on April 17th. Perhaps they were upset that they now had lost BOTH main characters. I don't know...and I don't want to say "I don't care" but that's kinda the emotion that I get when I think about what I have endured, the arguments with other cast members, the unprofessionalism of some of the inexperienced actors, the tight rehearsal schedule leading up to opening night, the radio interviews, the tickets that I've sold, the promotions! ALL OF IT SHUT DOWN due to poor publicity that was supposed to be handled by the director who didn't want to hold a show for 30 people as opposed to selling out a 1300seat venue. I would have rather done a show for a small crowd then not to do a show at all. So now that chapter is closed and Prosper must wait for the next opportunity to present itself. Just like last time and the time before it.

Seems like a trend--every time I get that close to my dreams, to what I believe is destiny, something comes along and shred it, mercilessly. Those days are officially gone and there is no going back. No turning around to put in and take out what could have prevented this empty feeling within me. All this has done is remind me of the days of gone...the hurt I've endured and it leads me to believe that no matter how much I fight it--this will be a way of life. You get just that close only to fall flat on your face at two steps away.