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Pablo's Diary

Whew... Catch-up

Added: January 14, 2004, 7:47 pm  (67 views)
Well, I have not been logged in since December 18th - a sorely neglected blog... diary... whatever. I've read quite a few posts about how Christmas is sad and sucks. I'm sorry that everyone else has such a poor holiday experience. To me, it really is the greatest time of year. Many great things happen, and I hate to see people down and out during that time of year.

Anywho, traveled out west to spend Christmas with my Father. A great time. It's always interesting, going there is like spending a few days in a completely different lifestyle. Awkward, sort of, but very good.

So many interesting things happen every day, it's hard to summarize the past month since I've posted here. Many changes at work - most for the better, I think, but execution has been poor in a number of areas. Progress has been made, but so much progress has yet to be made... I don't look at it as being negative, but a constant reminder that there is still much to be done.

Speaking of negativity, how about when people try to over correct problems. Ok, you get sick of some people who are overly negative - trying to correct the situation by going off the deep end and launching a campaign against all negativeness is not the answer, at least I don't believe it is. Furthermore, I use the wording "launch a campaign" lightly, as what I would define as launching a campaign doesn't really happen.

The above paragraph or 2 a very small testament to the great strides we sill must make. Enough of work.

Aside from work, life is pretty much grand. Work affects my personal life a great deal, but not so much the other way around. I can generally leave problems at home at home when I come into work in the morning, but am constantly bringing work home with me, and the stresses of it home. I do relax after a while, but sometimes work lingers on my mind constantly. Healthy? Perhaps not, though I think as long as I don't get psychotic about it, it's fine.

A person struggling through life with a variety of psychological problems is the hardest thing for me to try to understand about the world. I know some days suck - and I feel a bit down about things on some days. But when I sit back and think about all that I have, and all of the great things we all have around us, it's hard to imagine that someone can throw there life away by not doing all that they can with it.

Of course, that just makes me think that I'm not coming close to doing all that I could with the life God has granted me. That, in itself, is a bit depressing sometimes, but there is really only one way to change it - and that is for me to simply change things, and do what I feel is the best or most that I can do.

When it comes to dealing with those people because they are related or very close somehow, it could be the greatest struggle, the most perplexing thing ever to run through my mind. Religous beliefs have a great impact on this - if we step in and try to shape things, maybe we're changing something that shouldn't be changed? Then again, if we don't try to help someone, perhaps that's the worst we can do? And also, if this person is in such a condition that they are hurting themselves and others around them (physically, as well as emotionally), do we not have to lock them up? But who are we to judge?

All I can say, is if I make it through the great road of life, I hope there is a good, long one-on-one awaiting me at the crossroads of this life and my next. There are a great many things I'd love to have answered.

Speaking of death, and it merely being the start of an eternal life, I don't believe that we, as humans, can trully understand and appreciate the fact that (provided you believe this) we are going to live for eternity. We die here on Earth, then move on to the afterlife, which is something that no living being knows anything about, except for what our faith tells us. It's amazing to think that, from here on out, we'll never really be gone... When we're done on Earth, we'll move someplace else. The very fact that I can't fathom eternity is disturbing in it's own sense. It's such a huge thought, yet so simple to sort of move past, thinking "that's too big to think about, I'll just think about dieing, because that's something that I can grasp without having a seizure."

Wow - now I'm all flustered. I think JemDiary is an evil thing that sets my mind spinning in different directions and jumbles my thoughts around my head like a snow globe being shaken.

For some reason, however, Lord of the Rings has some great lines that seem to really pertain to life, even though they don't particularly have a Christian or religous twist to them at all. I'm thinking of when Gandalf talks to Pippin about death just being the start of another stage of our great journey in Return of the King. How simple and true it is, but also opens the door to such a huge mire of thoughts that it's impossible to put them in writing. I only hope that it offers hope to everyone else, that if you ever feel alone, sad, troubled, angry, whatever - there is a lot of good and hope in the world, and I hope everyone can realize and hang on to that. If not, then we really will live a life of terror and torment.

I think I have more to say, but don't want this to get out of hand. Hopefully I'll remember to post again soon...

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