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Pablo's Diary

Explaining Why You Feel...

Added: April 15, 2005, 10:21 pm  (78 views)
As you read the title of this entry, try it. Explain why you feel happy, or sad, or angry. Sometimes, I find myself caught up in some emotion, but completely unable to articulate it into words. Why does one action or situation upset me so much? And in the name of all that is good, why can't I come up with a good explanation for it? Then I go back through the events in my head, and I think, "That was not a big deal, you spas." This is true = trying to trace the situation out in your head with some common sense usually results in my disagreeing with what I felt.

Sometimes it happens repetitively. People refer to this as a pet peeve. Something that other people do, but for some reason it pisses you off. It's your pet peeve. After years of nobody being able to explain why those certain actions upset them, someone finally decided to just call it a "pet peeve." Now it is the acceptable explanation.

"Why does that upset you?"
"It's a pet peeve of mine."
"Oh, I see."

All that really means is: "I have no good reason for being upset at that, but it upsets me, so let's just leave it at that."

Sometimes, however, this can lead to trouble. What if it's something a person can't just "write off" in their head? Where is the resolution? When I find myself there, I try my very best to simply work through it myself. Sometimes just sitting and thinking about it all brings a sort of resolution in and of itself. You go over the events, slowly, and think about how you reacted. Eventually, if you can will your emotions to another level, you just resolve it on your own. You keep telling yourself it's not the tragedy you thought it might be, and eventually you start to believe yourself.

Sounds crazy, eh? It sounds immasculine, too. I wouldn't write this babble here if I didn't enjoy it a little, but when I stop and think about it, it doesn't present me as a very "manly man." Sometimes I feel bad about that, but obviously not enough to stop. It's hard to get past the stereotype of being a man. I think that a true "man" is someone who doesn't need to always prove themself to other people, but can concentrate on making the lives of people around them just a little bit better.

There it is - my periodic spewing forth of nonsensical words arranged as you see them. Hope you didn't miss an exciting part of life to read them (or become angry at something you read;).

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