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Pablo's Diary

Saturdays

Added: April 9, 2005, 7:08 pm  (97 views)
Something about Saturdays. I don't know what it is, but they always make me a crab-ass for some reason. I think it's because a lot of my Saturdays are empty. I look forward to the weekend, but when a Saturday comes around when I don't have anything planned, and I just sit around all day. Or do things like clean, etc., etc. I don't know, I feel empty sometimes. When I try to think my way through it all, though, it doesn't really make sense. I mean, it's just another day. And I don't think my life is empty.

I've got the best girlfriend a guy could ask for, lots to do and think about, but it feels like something is missing. And I don't know what. Sometimes I think it's because I live alone. Not alone without a significant other, I mean alone without my family. Before I moved out, in High School and what not, there were almost always people around. Someone to go talk to, etc. Saturdays, for some reason, sort of remind me that it's just me here.

I wish I could figure out a way to not be crabby. You know, a lot of people say that the mind is such an incredibly powerful thing. I wonder if there is anyone who can bend their will to trully control their emotions. I think a person's emotions are more powerful than their mind... And by mind I guess I mean a person's ability to logicially think about a problem.

You know, emotions can be the best thing, or the worst thing in the world. Why is it always like that. Everything that brings you the most joy can turn around and bite you in the ass harder than anything else. Two extremes, working almost in balance of each other. Sort of like the old "balance of good and evil" analogy. You wonder if those are really meant to balance each other, sort of like emotions vs. logical thinking.

I guess these two extremes are the price we pay to be human. As much as the lesser attractive of each extreme seems, I can't imagine life without them. What I mean is, if we could get rid of emotions that make you feel bad, but had to lose the good ones, I don't think it would be good to get rid of them. As many wise men have said, the bad stuff makes the good stuff that much sweeter.

This was a lot of nonsensical rambling. I hope not too many people wasted their time reading it. I'm not sure why, but I guess it feels good sometimes to type out a bunch of shit that's on your mind.

Hope you have a good Saturday. ;)

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