Diary Sometimes i feel so alone. Like theres no one out there that understands me. I dont really have many friends and although the ones i do have try to help they dont understand either. The only person that knew the most about me im not talking to anymore....and sometimes i think that the reason we dont talk is because he knew so much about me. Which in turn means that i must be a pretty crappy person. ive fucked up so many times, made so many mistakes, said so many im sorrys that i think i just got to the point where i couldn't fix whatever i fucked up anymore. oh god i sound pathetic.
il sit alone in semidarkness
smokin until my throat is sore
its not for relaxation anymore
its become more of a redundant chore
i wonder when il feel like
smiling when i smile
or laughing when i laugh
or even crying when i cry
my mind is outside of myself
and everyday takes me farther away
the culprit is
love and lust and self-esteem
its everything around me wrapped into me
its death and life
and sickness and health
its happiness and sadness
and poverty and wealth
its so many things
my mind doesnt work
but my heart still feels everything
all the pain and the hurt
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