GurlInLuv's Diary

FOR EVERY POSITIVE THERE IS A NEGATIVE AND VISE VERSA AND EXPECTATIONS

Added: September 6, 2007, 11:31 pm  (84 views)

so life to me pretty much sucks right now... i thought everything was going to get better. matt and i had worked things out we were going to get back together and stay married. we just needed to get things situated with him moving in. we need to keep the roommate. well when i told stacey this she decided to be difficult (i think she likes to be in control of things)... well she decided to say that if matt moves in she moves out... well matt and i can't afford to live together right now unless we have a roommate... anyways, to make a long story short we have to try and convince stacey to stay living with us so we can be together again. kinda sucks that our marriage depends on someone else's decision. so me and her are going to talk tomorrow night. i wish we could talk tonight but she is busy.

anyways, so matt and i were talking tonight and he said that i expect to much out of life and people. and explained to me that whenever something positive happens something negative will eventually follow and whenever somethng negative happens something positve will eventually happen. which kinda sucks if you think about it. so he suggested that i write (or for me type) out what i expect out of certain situations and turn the expectation volume down a little that way i don't get disappointed so much. so here goes:

  • living with matt right now: this i expect to happen. so it's very high... if this does not happen i will be very very disappointed...
    • a way that i can not be disappointed is if we don't get to live together at least i still have him in my life. we will still be together i will not lose him. just won't be living with him... won't be married to him but still dating him. sucks but i'll still have him.
  • stacey to be understanding and stay living with us... very high... once again i will be very disappointed if this does not happen.
    • if stacey does not want to live with matt and i... i guess that could be understandable... to a certain extent... why someone would not want to take advantage of cheaper rent i don't know. but if it's only stacey and i then like above at least i still have matt in my life.
  • i really expect to get this second job i applied for... very high... very disappointed
    • not getting this job would really suck... i really need it and want it. but at least i have first job that i still have and i could always find another second job.

it's kinda funny and it kinda sucks... i look at everything i have in life and i'm still not happy... a lot of people would KILL to have all the things and the life that i have and i'm not happy. why is that? that seems to always happen with people. they take advantage of a lot. i mean look at me... i had a wonderful husband and life and i took advantage of it and i lost it. i guess that's just what happens; when you have something really good and you  take advantage of it you lose it. for instance, i have a really nice car right? well i take care of my car... i don't take that for granted and i still have it and it's still just as good as new. betcha if i took advantage of it i would  have lost it by now. i treated my husband badly, i didn't take good enough care of him and i lost him. i mean honestly if you look at everything in my life i have so much! maybe i should list them so i can get a good look at what i really have:

  1. a very nice good car
  2. a place to live that's decent
  3. a family that cares about me
  4. a family that feeds me :)
  5. a husband/boyfriend that loves me
  6. internet with a nice computer
  7. nice bed
  8. nice clothes
  9. nice things in general which includes all of life's little extras; such as jewelry, purses, shoes, ect.
  10. a nice cell phone

wow i have a lot of nice things. and i didn't even include the fact that i have a good career (kinda) and that i have the chance to go to school and become the person that i want to be and do the job that i want to do. and omigosh the friends that i have i didn't include that either. what would i do without them? they are just awesome. they don't judge me, they help me with whatever it is that i need help with. i thank god for them everyday. he has truly blessed me with amazing people.

and what about the church i go to and the fact that i even have the right to go to a church and praise god and love him. some people don't get that chance. i have a god that loves me (although that is hard to believe sometimes) he would do anything to protect. he may put me through some hard things but like i have been taught god won't give you something you can't handle. and although i think that i can't handle what i am going through in life right now god knows that i can b/c he gave it to me.

i could probably go on and on about everything but i'm falling asleep as i type this. so it's time to go to bed. i thank matt for making me do this. i'm starting to feel a little bit better about the situation. even though it's not exactly what i want... i will be ok. and even if matt and i can't be together now we could for xure be together in 2 years! i'll just have to remember that!

good night.

Entry Comments: 1

Add a comment to this entry

  • yeh

    Added: September 7, 2007, 7:33 am
    By: Aaron Saray

     So I can see why someone wouldn't want to live with a married couple. I would pay far more rent to live by myself or with 1 single person than to live with a couple. Because now you're involved with all their fights and all the other things that are involved with having a significant other around full time. It can be irritating to you that she would move out, but you have to remember that YOU'RE the one who's going to be the married one - what if it was her with her husband, and just you? You might be able to do that or want to - but not everyone.

    Also I like that you listed out your things you have that are good - its so hard sometimes to remember all the good when life gets you down - I have the exact same issue.

    Keep your head up kid :)
    -aaron

    Reply to this comment
Create Comment.








icon Unfortunately, your browser is not one of our supported browsers. The site may not operate correctly. Click Here for Help! icon