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FriendlyFemme's Diary

What a fuckin day!

Added: August 20, 2004, 12:04 am  (102 views)
Hello people.. SO okay me and my baby talked and everything will be okay. The only thing now is I have to find a new job. It's a long story and Im agravated so we'll just say Food, Folks, and Fun are full of shit!
Secondly, we are supposed to be gettin an apartment. My girlfriend and my best friend Amanda.. she writes on this site as well. But since we just quit our jobs, her parents prabably wont cosign, and we cant find nyone to help us. My girlfriend moved out her apartment already so she would have the money for deposit and alla that stuff, but now we might not get a place! Im goin crazy I hate how she is feeling right now. I would never want her to be hurt or upset, but Im also not god. So what do I do? I pray.. thats all we can do really.. Its all in his hands. He has the whole world.
Plus- I got this cell phone bill to pay off and the only reason why I have a $300 bill each month is bc of my dumb ass X girlfriend who used, abused, and lied to me about everything.. and how I found out was because her and my girlfriend now hung out for a couple weeks and she told her everything. So see me and my x were friends. then I met this wonderful lady @ a club and we hit it off. So naturally she wanted to get to know me and my friends. Well she did, but then my X changed and was saying all type of things to get me to hate her so that I could move on. Ha ha ha.. how conceided is that? To make someone hate you bc u dont believe that they will move past you? Dont make me laugh any harder.
One comment that my girlfriend made tonight that really scared me.. was that she would just pick up and leave to Columbus with her bro. I wouldnt be able to live with out her here with me. Now I would follow her to the other side of the world if that's where she wishes to go, but to just pick up without a place for the both of us is not in the planbook for me.
I also had to stop talking to someone that I met online, due to the fact that my girlfriend was uncomfortable with it. I never thought me and this girl would marry, it was just a talking thing. we would discuss our problems, and vent to oneanother. She was my outlet.. some comfort to know that someone cared about me, and didnt even have to be in the same state or know what I looked like. I havent seen pics of her, and we've only talked on the phone, maybe 10 times TOPS!! I dont see what was wrong. It's so hurtful to do this to her, and to myself, but Im doing this for my baby, bc this topic was a big deal to her. I just hope she realizes that Im not gonna just stop talking to every other woman I meet. I love her, and would marry her on Sunday if she would just ask! I know that sounds weird.. But trust me. I have a very special relationship with god, and we talk. I basically got the clue, that Aslea.. my baby, may not be an easy person to be with at first, but If I marry her, I will be happier in the long run. (sorry bout that running sentence, lol.)
Well im @ the UC library and its gettin late, or shall I say early.. 1 am in these streets..
Night ya'll
Robin

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