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Escapist's Diary

Pain and Love

Added: November 13, 2006, 6:34 pm  (64 views)
There's a song by Three Days Grace- "Pain" And it gets me thinking...can there be love without pain? Would we appreciate the love as much? Do i constantly fall into a pattern of loving people who will only give me pain?

Alright, I'm going to continue this entry a day later.
I read this entry to mouse and i told him about the song and everything. He was wondering if i ever was going to finish this entry. so here it goes.

Mouse and I are getting really tight. The problem is there is very little room to go so we are coming into conflict. Is there going to be a lot of conflict in our relationship? I do not know. But I know that every little conflict we come across will be worth it. I just wish that we could go without. I wish I wasn't so stressed out. I wish I could do a better job.

And here I go, taking the whole relationship onto my shoulders. I will carry this with me. I will not tell mouse. What am i doing? I want to be loved, so why am I allowing all this pain? How can i be doing something so major without even considering how great everything could be.

So the question should not be can there be love without pain, but can I accept love and not induce pain? Can i take love for what it is, can i allow someone to care? Can i forget about the pain i have had, the pain that i have made, the pain that i blame myself for?

Does mouse want this? Does mouse even really want me? Or does he want the idea of me?

Mouse said I'm like a rollercoaster. He also said that the first drop is always the worst. Mouse always says the right things. Why can't i treat mouse like the awesome guy he is? Why? God help...help me see, help me be, help me help me for once. (ps, signs are not appreciated)

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