Escapist's Diary

I always wanted to be a writer

So, I have so much to write about. But instead of flooding the site i'll just put it all in one entry.

#1. I have always wanted to be a writer. I had many journals, many stories, many dreams when I was younger. All of which aren't any good by an adult's standards. However, I feel like I still crave to be a writer. I decided a while back that when I retire from counseling (ha, retire and I still haven't started!) I would write Childrens Books with the theme of helping parents explain difficult themes with their children. Such as Sex, Death and Why Did Daddy Leave? Well, poems still fill my head and I have to write them down. I wonder what will become of them one day.

#2. I've been cleaning my room/boxing things up. I have come across many rocks and other things from my childhood that seem silly now. I remember going out to Maine and picking up rocks and my dad complaining about them. and my grandmother said that when my father was young he collected as many rocks as i did. so, when do rocks start losing meaning? when do rocks transform from treasure to something that is taking up space. I threw out a lot of crap- a lot of memories. but where was I supposed to store all of these things? I live in a tiny room right now until January! and after that...where would they go? would they stay behind at my parents' house, collecting dust...or end up in my attic some day and annoying me becuase they are preventing me from finding what i was in search for? i feel that the less i own, the happier i am. i don't like clutter, but i am a romantic and have to keep everything i fancy at the moment! and with tv shows and magazine articles telling people today to throw everything away...well, what is a girl to do!

#3. Mouse is going back to school and I am scared. I once thought that our relationship would only work out because I would be going to school for a few more years and that way we would still be on the same level. Well...it turns out I had to take a semester off...so he'll be caught in college life and i'll be caught in the adult working 40 hours a week life. Lame. He is moving in with 5 other guys....and I feel like i'm going to lose him. and I tell him this...and he doesnt think it will happen. anyway, it's only 15 weeks. right? I'll be seeing him more often and he has vowed to give up drinking this semester, which might help the situation. he needs to start getting better grades before it's too late. and i want him to have every opportunity.

#4. I smashed my laptop on my move home. Thankfully only the screen was damaged. but now i can't use a different monitor! the image continuously is blinking and i dont know what is wrong! I'm giong to try another screen. I'm so frustrated because I didn't plan on buying a new computer, just a nice screen at the end of the year....i dont know...grrr....and i wanted to check the internet connection through my computer to see if it is a problem with the modem or if my phone line needs to be tweaked or something (grrr, i hate dial-up!)

#6. I'm frustrated with my job. I am way overqaulified and i don't like teaching! I want to be with one or two children and get to know them. Instead i feel like i spend most of my time yelling or making fun of the children. we had a work meeting the other night and nothing was accomplished. i can't wait until i can get out of teaching at a day care. today i looked at jobs in mi and i think i will be able to find a position that satisfies my urges. oooo, and next weekend i have orientation. i am going to scope out the town and see what's going down. my goal is to make one friend. :)

#7. My step cousins wedding was this weekend. Next one will be the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I don't know. It's not what i picture for my wedding. I want something a little....nicer? I liked the centerpieces tho. I'll have to remember them. They were wine glasses filled with clear colored stones and a candle. Simple. Cute.

#8. Alright, i think that's all. I went on MSN real quick today and realized XB upated his profile so i'm checking that out now. His sister is moving to NYC to be a photographer. I hope she does well with that.

ok, peace out!