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Cerabee's Diary

New Years

Added: January 10, 2006, 5:53 am  (60 views)
Its new years. New years and I’m home, on my laptop....why am I doing this? I could go out, have some fun, go crazy. I could. I don’t even want to.
Shit.
Im my defence, I am exhausted and still a bit hungover. But really. New years. It can’t be like it normally is since the Iversons haven’t come up but still... yuck yuck yucky, I’m going to be such a loser for not going out. I’m soooo stupid...... I’m upset again, and I, and I just can’t seem to shake the habit... and I want to talk to him...and I miss him and I hurt. I want to know..hey, it’s a new year, should we let go while we have the perfect chance? Should we smile because it happened? Should I tell you there’s no tears and watch you walk away? Should I let myself hurt now and save myself an accumulation of pain so vivid and jagged it cuts? Should I run? Should I have ran long, long ago when you came back exactly what I made you...exactly what I wanted... a monster of my creation? Is it finally enough for me to let go?! Walk away? I just want to go...
How do you feel
How do you hate
how do you wake up with
that smile that’s on your face
Out on the moon
if I was an astronaut
could I get back to you
I’m out of my head
I’m out of excuses so I’m staring at
The bed, and it’s you, it’s you
I hold on I hold on
I can’t let go of you
I hold on I hold on
I’d sell my soul for you
Im losing my heart, Im losing my pride
I’d burn out initials
in the sun if it would shine
‘Cause I was in heaven until
this world fell apart

I’m out on the run
I’m out in this empty space
Since all of this begun
Well I tried, I tried

Nothing seems to help
Nothing seems to work
Nothing is as beautiful
I’m old enough to take
All the blame
For all the mistakes
All the games and
All the faces
I’m bleeding by myself
But I’m okay

Sell my Soul- Our Lady Peace

Peace. At last, our fair lady peace... ten thousand words telling me happiness doesn’t exist and all I’ve got is hope and faith, a wish a dream im pushing for fight hell I’m going down kicking and screaming and breathing for air I know, I hope it’s not there
gone. Swoop and emotion is gone and there’s now just a hollow I’m gone, I’m gone and I hate myself for letting me be this weak
letting me be this weak
excuse me while I pretend everything’s all right
excuse me... I’m gone for a while
but I’ll be back
I always am are I not?
Come back so you can take me down again
goodbye

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